Awkward

 

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Resolutions.

Did you make any this new year?

I tend to be the resolution-making type.

I can only hope that writing about my new year's resolutions in February bolsters their credibility, being that their biggest chance for failure, the month of January, has passed.

Woo!  

We'll see.  

Regardless of the cynical statistics on resolution survival rates,

I find that I need them.

(Resolutions that is, not statistics).

I need them to keep me moving forward, like the arrows stretching upward on the "11" of 2011.

Jerry Root, a professor at Wheaton College, is fond of saying,

"If you're not awkward in some area of your life, you're not growing."

I love that.

So, my new question for myself is, "In what area of my life am I awkward right now?"

It better be somewhere, because otherwise it means I'm not learning anything new, not changing, not becoming.

So, for starters, in 2011, here's 10 ways I'm making myself feel awkward and as a result, hopefully starting the growth process:

1. I'm awkward at the gym 5 days a week.  Building my strength back up means running pretty slow on the treadmill.  Yes, if you work out next to me, you will look awesome.

2.  I'm awkward when I go down to the Commons in the morning in my sweatpants and glasses to grab a fruit to have with breakfast.  Because I'm trying to eat 4-5 fruits and veggies every day now, and I don't always remember to have enough in my fridge.  And if you see me on this mad dash, don't talk to me because I probably haven't brushed my teeth yet.  Sorry.

3.  I'm awkward with my new camera, because it's pushing me beyond my skill level and knowledge.  This year, I want to take a photography class, and I've already signed up for one!  Can't wait!

4.  My blog looks awkward because it needs the title on the page and lots of other stuff that would make it look much more interesting and useful to you guys!  You're sweet for reading anyway!  This year, I want to work on some blog updates like getting a header designed and adding some sidebar goodies.  Now just to make the time to sit down and do it.

5.  I'm feeling awkward making calls about jobs and going to interviews.  But pushing myself into that awkward place will hopefully lead to a counseling job this year.

6.  I feel awkward in the process of sitting down and forcing writing onto a page, writing that hopefully someone will connect with.  But with a little time and focus, I want to write an article for Moody's paper this year on something I've been thinking about for the past year.

7.  I feel awkward in the toil of researching a new subject in my field in order to teach.  It's so overwhelming at times, and just plain hard work, but I love gaining understanding of yet another issue and presenting in a practical, helpful form to others.

8.  It's awkward to push myself out of my comfortable home for church small group every Thursday night with people that I'm just still getting to know (but already love so, so much!).  I want to make investing fully into small group a priority this year.

9.  I feel awkward talking to myself in my car, reading note cards in elevators, and straining to make space in my mind as I memorize Scripture.  This year, I really want to continually be working on memorizing Scripture- something I haven't done much at all of in the past few years.

10.  And finally, I know I'm going to feel awkward pulling the guts out of a chicken, but I want my momma to teach me how to make her incredible homemade chicken noodle soup this year!

Alright, don't let me be the only awkward girl walking around out there.  

How are you going to be awkward this year?