Sunday, June 12, 2011

Different Kinds of Happy

Thank you to Sara Groves for so winsomely giving words to an at once intricate and simple experience of living that I've found myself walking in the past, well, while of my life.

Different kinds of happy.  
This new to me song played in the background as Neal and I cooked dinner together in the kitchen, blackened tilapia as this summer Sunday night would have it.

As the words spun together, mixing with the scents of spices wafting up from the oil-spitting skillet, Neal turned and pulled me into his arms for the kind of smooch where your lips smile while you kiss.

We spent the late afternoon underneath a huge tree in Lincoln Park.
Conversation more about some of my sadness, frustration, and feelings of lack than anything else.
Last night over dinner I cried into most of my white napkin while the waiter checked on us with mild repose.
Classy, I know.

I am happy.
It's a different kind of happy than other kinds I've known.
It's one where I'm more dependent than I want to be, one where I'm growing in a way I didn't see coming.
Sometimes I fiercely dislike it.  At other times, I like it in an I'm-becoming-someone-I-didn't-know-I-would kind of way.

Since I'm writing, and you're reading, I have a request to make.
Listen to Sara Groves' "Different Kinds of Happy" song, or at least read the lyrics.
And secondly, promise yourself that you will lay flat on your back under a huge tree this summer and look up.
I don't care if you're 25, 55, or 85.
I wanna hear about it.


Alyssa said...

I saw the title "Different Kinds of Happy" and my heart jumped! Surely Parker has told you of my Sara Groves obsession. Read her bio about the development of the Fireflies and Songs album . . .it's great! Annnnnd her new album comes out October 18th! eeeek!

Now, in regards to the actual post . . . amen and amen

"At other times, I like it in an I'm-becoming-someone-I-didn't-know-I-would kind of way."

We are not who we were 6 months ago or 6 weeks ago. He is constantly changing us from one degree of glory to the next. Although we stand "positionally" righteous, He is making us practically righteous.

Angela said...

Today I listened to "Different Kinds of Happy", then I went to the park, laid on a quilt and looked up at a big tree swaying in the perfect summer breeze against a brilliant blue sky :) Just had to tell you. life is looking better these days and I am able to get out more and more. Soaking up and enjoying every second of it of course and thanking God for every small thing :)