Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto


This parenting manifesto is by Brene Brown, an author and researcher who has impacted me more than any other in this past year.
I love her books "The Gift of Imperfections" and "I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't)."
From time to time, I browse around her website (love her music and book suggestions!), and sometime last year I stumbled across her parenting manifesto on her site.

I was newly pregnant at the time, and I remember just sobbing reading it.
It's perfect.

Which she would probably kind of rub against (that description, "perfect") because part of her whole thing is that we're NOT perfect, and how do we relate to ourselves and others with our awareness of that reality?
So Brene, how about I say "It fits."  It fits and connects so meaningfully with the woman I've struggled and fought and learned to become throughout my 20's, and with the parent I long to be to my little mister who is coming into this world any. day. now.

I love the space this manifesto creates for real life, for real humanness, and real love.
My life is so about to change, isn't it?

*If the words on the image are too small for you to read, I've included the text here:

The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto


Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and loveable.

You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.

I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.

You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.

We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both. 

We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.

You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.  

I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude. 

I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.

When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life. 

Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it. 

We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.

As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.

I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.