Today I feel the opposite of good. I guess that statement has been true for the better part of 9 months. I get discouraged. I fight despair and fear. I cry.
But I have also learned to look at the world, at my day to day, from a different viewpoint. I would rather my world didn't get spun around like a wild top, but it has, and I feel like I've been flung into a foreign land with no flights home.
At first I was in denial that there were no flights. I just knew there would be. Then as weeks turned into months, I cried and cried. As months approach a year, I've realized that I will get home, but I don't know when. And that while I'm here, there are things I can learn. New sights and perspectives to see.
One of those perspectives for me is seeing the "small things" and letting them satisfy. And boy, do they have satisfying power. We just don't often let them, because we are too busy or too focused on the "big things." Or is that just me?
I've been so inspired to celebrate life, even in the hardships, and to enjoy and savor the small and very good things in my every day, even during another day of Epstein Barr Virus.
Some specific sources of this inspiration have come from a blog called "Enjoying the Small Things," by Kelle Hampton, as well as the book "Cold Tangerines." The more I look, the more I see beauty, blessing, and joy in my everyday life...even in the midst of my body feeling miserable. And I didn't know the two could go together.
As for the "big things" I want, such as a job, ministry, productivity, travel, exploring and learning my city, and living large, I don't know when. I don't know if. I don't know, period. As Psalm 31 says, "My times are in God's hands," and all life and breath is from His hand. Not mine.
People are always saying things like, "It's the little things that matter most." And when I look at the "little" things I've been noticing,
like seeing the huge heart of my husband as he cares for me;
like being with my dad, Neal's dad, and both of my grandfathers for Father's Day;
like my sister telling me she's having a boy;
like sitting on the porch at home with Neal in the night and watching heat lighting and pouring rain;
like eating homemade cherry pie with fresh, tart cherries;
like sitting under the pergola with Neal and remembering how we danced there on our wedding day;
like Lilly taking my hand and exclaiming, "Mmmm!" after smelling each flower in the garden;
I'd have to agree.
Stay tuned for pictures of "enjoying the small things" during Father's Day weekend at home.